I told him I will prepare some tea for you and after tea you may start with your works. I went into the kitchen and kept the tea powder really up in the kitchen cupboard. Called Monaj, I told him I need to get the tea powder which is kept really above. So hold the kitchen table so that I can climb. Monaj said “I will help you mam let me climb up”. I said no just hold the table so that I don’t fall off.I intentionally lifted my nighty showing him my legs and kept one on the table and in the process of reaching out the tea powder dubba I raised the other leg and kept right across Monaj’s face and on the window grill of kitchen so that I get more height to reach out. In that process my nighty lifted even more and I was like standing with one leg down on the table and other leg lifted up and in between Monaj standing and holding the table for the balance.I saw Monaj going down and saying “madam let me hold the legs of the table so that they stand firm”. I know why he went down. He wanted. I could feel how my heart beat escalated, how my breath was drug from my lungs with a weight attached of each gasp ... Still, he continued.My eyelids were heavy, my body was tingling, skin burning alive and within seconds they closed and my whole experience escalated.It’s amazing how something so subtle, so often overlooked and seen as just ordinary can be escalated once you can’t watch what the other is doing, or see what is happening, and with my eyes closed, lids refusing to open, I could hear and feel at a level I had never before in a moment like this. His breath was heavy, I could hear it so loud, almost as loud as my own, and I could feel it brushing along my skin as he leaned over me, looking over each inch of my body. These were pieces of myself I had spent so much of my life hating, so much of my time wasted on cursing it, pinching and bruising, self-harming; but he looked at it with renewed adoration, affection and love poured into me with each kiss that sunk into my skin.
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